I would

Why do you think traffic sucked so much? Because it’s so nice out?

Yeah. People are just driving around, rubbernecking the weather.

The sweetest death wish

I will take a shot for every person who buys my book. I may be mildly buzzed, but I’ll still probably be able to drive home.

Aww, I hope you die of alcohol poisoning.

Awwwwww, you’re sweet!