OVERHEARD IN MY LIVING ROOM

Truth 

Who owns the Dark Net? 

Our Dark Lord. 

Good question tho 

Do you  ever look at pictures and think, I wonder if those people are dead? 

Sounds really delicious 

My signature dish is revenge. And I like to throw it in the microwave just before serving it. 

True story

Clarity is not very clear, am I right? 

Stop. 

Stop stopping!

Probably cold 

I wonder how my balls feel in the breeze. 

Seriously tho

Today’s a perfect day for ska music. 

Said no one ever. 

Truth. 

Plants are way better than people. 

Duh 

I wonder if there’s a porn version of snapchat. 

Yeah. It’s called snapchat.

Same thing

He sits on my boobs like they’re a chair. That’s why my boobs are so saggy. They’re a chair. 

Dogs in prison are amazing.

He’s doing some sort of a dog shank right now, just shaving down Jolly Ranchers and toothbrushes.

Mozart would poop himself

What if all string parts ever were electric guitar? I think that’s what the world sounds like to Dave Grohl.

DON'T MISS ANOTHER RANDOM QUOTE FROM A STRANGER

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