I’m not sure that’s correct
The best thing about bacon grease is that you can just leave it in there.
Month: December 2009
Agreed
She’s married, so she’s not worth talking to.
I wasn’t gonna say it
I’m drinking like a confused 8th grader.
Um I mean
Anyone with tattoos can’t be a virgin.
A wumble if you will
I just had a word fumble. A wumble, if you will.
Speaking of which
Speaking of raising the glass…are we just going to play with the cat?
Sound advice thanks nurse
Just cut the skin around the tip off.
He is a Simpsons drawing of Vincent Price
He looks like a Simpsons drawing of Vincent Price.
Not even electric bro
They just have acoustic tonight. That’s like, not even electric.
That’s how it works eh
…or like when you get cat pee on your face and you start tripping balls? Anyone?
Stoned and ruin my evening
I’m gonna get stoned and f***ing ruin my evening.
Nuggets are shark chum duh
Why is this shark hovering over my McNuggets??
Thank you for being a dumping bag
You’re kind of my dumping bag lately, sorry. …OK, i don’t exactly know what a dumping bag is.
We can only imagine
So all he had on was underwear and brown socks. Which was very sexy.
Reality is not real
I don’t know if I can justify eating real food today. I didn’t do any real things.
That’s usually how long it takes
I’m so glad it took me my whole life to grow up…
Bold claim sir
I look good in everything.
Correct sir
I’m not usual.
You mean you didn’t
Like I really wanted to stand there while some dorky old stranger measures my wife’s cervix opening with his fingers.
Really just body love
What’s going on? Besides body love?
Strong moral code
I wouldn’t hold it if I didn’t love it.
A capella ghosts
Do you know what would be cool? If there was an a capella group of people that could…uh…throw their voices.
Group hand shower
Let’s go take a group hand-shower.
Clearly you did
Like you didn’t start drinking when you were an adolescent.
Very specific
I certainly wish that people like Rush Limbaugh would catch the H1N1 or something like that.