A Catholic and an atheist walked into a bar
It’s that Catholic guilt. That’s the great thing about being an Atheist. You can just be a bitch whenever you want. Oh, you can do that if you’...
Month: November 2010
Go on
I had this chronic masturbating pirate for a roommate in college. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Explain
If I could be an actor, I would want to be just like Gary Busey. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Agreed
I’m not really looking to have experiences at work. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
How much fun Sheila
I’ve just been cracking myself up lately. I don’t know if I’m really funny, or if I’m just easily amused, but I’ve been having a l...
Survey says
Do you get to use the car pool lane if you have a crock pot next to you? Does that count as another passenger? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Maybe they like birds
I just saw a twelve-year-old wearing a Hooters shirt. Gross. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
That is quite the super power
I can throw my voice into her mouth. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Cleanup in cubicle four
Oh my gosh, I’m going to pull my brains out. Whatever that means. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
That looks like something I pulled out of my oven
That looks like something I pulled out of my oven in college. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Thank you
You’re like an obscene Ned Flanders. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Zingggg
Have you rooted your phone? If that means what it means in Australia, absolutely not. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Agreed
I’m too smelly to be able to finish this document. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Hurry quick
Police! There’s a stranger in my house being super loud! Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
So how’d it go
He just tried to lick something wedged in between the bike seat and the body. I think it was a walnut. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Viscosity indeed
Higher viscosity is the same thing as thicker. It’s just more syllables. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Coffee makes me funnier
I can’t really joke in the morning. I get about halfway there and then I lose it. Get some more coffee in you and we’ll try again. Published with Bl...
Looking forward to it
This winter I’m going to get back into sledding. Cheap thrills! Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Very true
There’s no boobs like snow boobs! Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
You know that famous designer Jane Austen
Do you want that butt necklace that Jane Austen made or whoever the f*ck? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
God so true
That’s where all bad smells come from, is babies. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Truly a type
I sometimes wonder why I’m so attracted to him when statistically he’s about 3 decades too young to be my type. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Stay the fuck out of that yard
A chippy in my yard committed suicide by truck. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Solidarity
Aww, I’m bummered. I, too, am bummered. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Well then
Love does not make a marriage work. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Maybe
You know what this reminds me of? Chernobyl? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Tell me how you really feel
You’re an infidel. And a double-timer. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
You look like you’re removable
That beard looks like it’s removable. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Not a real person, just a quarterback
Come on, I’m not going to sleep with him. He’s not real. He’s a quarterback. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
Sound plan, agent
I’ll just speak into my chest as much as possible. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.4
The brain: the emo organ
It’s a constant emotional roller-coaster, in my brain. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3
Brains are sharp
It just sounded like you poked yourself with something! I just poked myself with a BRAIN thing. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3