Either way
Your dog’s hanging out. I mean, your tongue’s hanging out. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Month: June 2011
Yes shut up
What, are you like the Robin Hood of Blockbuster? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
I wasn’t going to say anything
I think I’m going to make Facebook profiles for my dogs. I bet they get more friends than me. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
They never really did you know
Sadly, now that she suspects I’m an atheist, my pleas of “do it for Jesus” don’t really work anymore. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6....
Taste is everything
Boy, planning a Lisa-Frank-themed wedding has been harder than I thought. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Well you can’t have everything Sheila
It would be nice if I didn’t have to search for you in bathrooms anymore. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
It might help TBH
I can’t eat any more food or I’ll fall asleep. Do you want me to punch you in the face? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
No one is stopping you sir
This song makes me want to take e and touch people I don’t know. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Shit you’re onto me
Are you trying to fatten up your bridesmaids? Is this a Hansel and Gretel meal right now? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Oh phew thanks
Spoiler alert: he didn’t drink his own rat tail. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Traditions are everything
She always puts ridiculous things in her hair on celebrations in my honor. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
I mean I can
Can you capitalize an exclamation point? Make it super exciting? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
I have that gift
You really know how to make a penis sound dirty. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Seriously go ban yourself
Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m being a major Holden Caulfield today. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Something along those lines
It does look like Jesus. Or some religious hippie thing. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Start a petition sir
Why isn’t there an emoticon for holding a gun to my own head? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
He’ll never know good plan
I’m going to get him hammered on blackberry brandy. Secretly. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
So you are a Klingon then
I like my drinks like I like my food: fighting back. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Oh that was you
The last time I saw you, you were yelling at a garbage. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Understandable
I’m sorry — I was distracted by babies and friends. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
At least you have a code
I will believe something when I hear something. Or something. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
I’m going on break then
Is there a timeline for this? Yes, but there are no numbers. So it’s just a straight line. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Um
I just feel naked without my hat. And my father. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
I too am glad
I’m glad I didn’t wear suspenders tonight. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
This is absolutely true
If Seth Godin ruled the world, the internet wouldn’t suck so bad. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8
Let’s check it out immediately
It sounds like semen and failure down there. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8