April 2014 – OVERHEARD IN MY LIVING ROOM

Thank you

It smells like…alcoholism and friendship.

We should straight murder flocks of birds, is what I’m saying.

It’s my sister’s house. I can poop where I want.

Everyone’s going to church? I’m going to fuck shit up.

Oh, shit, there’s humans.

If you come back with a face tattoo, I’m going to be your best friend.

I don’t know why, but every time I see a bottle of Korbel my wiener gets a little hard.

It’s just like I said to Patrick: Shut the fuck up, Patrick.

Posted on April 8, 2014 by Overheard in My Living Room

Stop hanging out by my face.

Posted on April 8, 2014 by Overheard in My Living Room

If I’m gonna ruin your day, I’m gonna start way earlier.

Posted on April 7, 2014 by Overheard in My Living Room

We should get him a little humping rug. Everyone needs a humping rug.

Posted on April 5, 2014 by Overheard in My Living Room

He looked disgusted. But it might have just been his face.