Incidentally I love weddings
If anybody gets a hand job from a bridesmaid, I’ll give them twenty bucks. It’s all about the motivation. As if the handy isn’t motivation eno...
Month: August 2014
Everyone needs a skill
I’m really good at finding stuff. So if you lose your purse or anything, I should be able to help.
Well then, Mr. Scientist
How old are you? I’m a scientist.
Don’t tell me my chin business sir
Ladies love a bald chin. You gotta shave that.
It’s really the only choice
I want to kiss Lando Calrissian. I’m doing it. I want to taste his mustache.
Serious overreaction
So what happens then? They slit your wrist? Or take your children?
Get used to it sucka
Oh, you’re spilling your beer… I always spill my beer.
Satan has excellent taste
Satan wants rainbow sprinkles on his ice cream.
You don’t know
“Alien Man.” That’s a funny name for a person.
We are complex beings
Mood ring says romantic; arm hair says otherwise.
No you smell like dreams
You smell like dreams.
Phew okay
I just wanted to make sure I have all my nuts in a row.
Word vomit amiright
Man I gotta release these vowels.
No bueno
Now it just looks like your catheter exploded!
Also sprained my ankle in table tennis once what
I got hurt playing kickball too. *wild laughter*
So delicious then
That tastes like what I would imagine Rasputin tastes like.
As long as I know where I stand
I trust you, I just don’t believe you.
I mean is quantity really the issue
Whoah. That’s a lot of big gulps.