Balls deep in a stir fry
Out of curiosity, might you be hungry when you get home? Was gonna whip out a quick dinner and suddenly I’m balls deep in a giant stir fry.
Month: May 2015
YOU ARE RICK WAKEMAN. Thank you. That is the best
YOU ARE RICK WAKEMAN. Thank you. That is the best compliment I have received in my life.
I like your ear hole.
I like your ear hole.
Tell him we polled a random sampling. It tested we
Tell him we polled a random sampling. It tested well among the two of us.
Shut up nobody doesn’t like the Moody Blues
My husband has informed me he doesn’t like the Moody Blues. We are therefore sleeping in separate beds until he apologizes.
Come the fuck inside sir
Oh, what stupid f*cking landscaping sh*t are you doing now?
You would disintegrate and become gonads
Wait, so he’s being attacked by anglerfish?
Toast that shit
Let’s have a toast to cocktails. Here’s to cocktails!
Every day I get dressed for work I feel like a PBR
Every day I get dressed for work I feel like a PBR inside an Indeed coozie.
I feel like a medieval warrior with this wine glas
I feel like a medieval warrior with this wine glass.
God, I hope I don’t have to go to clown school.
God, I hope I don’t have to go to clown school.
ALL BABIES LOVE ME GODDAMMIT
You’re the only baby here who doesn’t like me. I don’t get it.
It’s just that you’d be much happier if you were
It’s just that you’d be much happier if you weren’t scared of paper bags.