What is with the top hat?It’s a nostalgia party
What is with the top hat? It’s a nostalgia party…? Not from 1890!
Month: June 2015
NOT EVEN SNAPPING
Man, he’s not even really snapping. That shit is sampled. OK, now you’re being a dick. Correct.
Do you think they feel like they’re playing Guita
Do you think they feel like they’re playing Guitar Hero right now? Or like they’re in a karaoke bar? What, I’m not being a dick, I’m jus...
Oh, that’s a cute little underwear supply store!
Oh, that’s a cute little underwear supply store!
Man, there are lots of violent emojis available fo
Man, there are lots of violent emojis available for rage.
God, I hate this. Pun not intended.
God, I hate this. Pun not intended.
Awww, did you think we left you forever? We did. W
Awww, did you think we left you forever? We did. We’re gone. This isn’t us.
What is that bird doing?That’s a bat.What is
What is that bird doing? That’s a bat. What is that bat doing?
One time I sprained my ankle trying to train an ar
One time I sprained my ankle trying to train an armadillo to breakdance.
I think I accidentally created a jalapeño brother
I think I accidentally created a jalapeño brother.
Take PTO to go to a charitable event. It feels spi
Take PTO to go to a charitable event. It feels spiteful.
Wanna know how many fucks I have to give? Oh….th
Wanna know how many fucks I have to give? Oh….there’s none! Wait, let me dig deep…let me reach into the stars…nope, still none!
It’s like a table Zamboni!
It’s like a table Zamboni!
I wonder if they did this photo shoot onsite, in t
I wonder if they did this photo shoot onsite, in the center of the earth. Hmm. I wonder. That’s something to sit and think about in silence.
What does a roasting pan look like? Does it have h
What does a roasting pan look like? Does it have holes in it?
It doesn’t matter what spot you sit in, you’re s
It doesn’t matter what spot you sit in, you’re still pregnant.
I’m not feeling the groove unless my pants are up
I’m not feeling the groove unless my pants are up to my nipples.
Keep your brats off my wife.
Keep your brats off my wife.
Not an oxymoron
Sounds like a job for a librarian!
Just throw the poop already
Or I just say fuck ’em and start flinging excrement in the air. That sounds like something I would do.
Anything but the nipples
No. Not the nipples.
I’m gonna get a baritone guitar, make people poop
I’m gonna get a baritone guitar, make people poop.
It sounds like a Nintendo farting. That’s what an
It sounds like a Nintendo farting. That’s what an eight-bit fart sounds like.
I felt like it was time to elevate our relationshi
I felt like it was time to elevate our relationship to a new level. Pink eye. We’re there.
That’s just the butter that “whoah-whoah” secti
That’s just the butter that “whoah-whoah” section needs to not be jerky. Because if there’s one solution to jerkiness it’s butter.
He’s a real almond brother.
He’s a real almond brother.
Let’s not go there. You are stars today.
Let’s not go there. You are stars today.
Popcorn is definitely worth a conversation
We could make some conversation popcorn! I guess I don’t know exactly what that means.