Game of thrones style, amiright
If you breastfeed your child until adolescence, turns out you’re a villain.
Month: June 2016
God I hope not
I will never describe a drink as human flesh.
Tell usssss how you really feel
Snakes aren’t real things. They’re made of jello, they have no bones, and I hate them.
Sounds like a cool lady
I would just wait until she got way too drunk and we’d put French fries on her head.
Dogs are weird
Thank you for the hug. I love you so much. Oh, and the drool. I love you a little bit less now.
Thanks for sharing that publicly
I met my step goal by going to the bathroom!
A man has no date
Oh, Rod Stewart is too cool to put dates on his albums. Now I’m even less likely to listen to them.
But I love you
You are the hole in the table.
That’s fucking teamwork
Tell you what: I’ll get the pepper and you get the cock ring. That’s fucking teamwork.
You’re bad at eating is what I’m saying
Hey, look at this little piece of fried egg I found! I thought of you right away.
Coffee and silence, please
This coffee shop is this magical place where I don’t have to do anything, and all it costs me is the price of coffee. Except they’re starting to kno...
All selfies are inappropriate
I was going to inform you via inappropriate selfie. The other option apparently was just not informing you. Things are very cut and dried in my world.