Category: Birds & Bees

I’ve never met a dongle that didn’t like to cuddle.

There is nothing romantic about fisting.

So many angles when it comes to butt stuff.

Dude, “wingbanging” sounds like such an excellent procedure.

I don’t pay for sex. I’m just charming and handsome.

Will you have sex with my body? Yes. Especially if you phrase it like that.

I didn’t force it, I just pushed it.

No. Not the nipples.

I felt like it was time to elevate our relationship to a new level. Pink eye. We’re there.

I don’t know. I’ve never done a dick spiral. Haha. I haven’t!! I know.

Lots of butt stuff today.

If anybody gets a hand job from a bridesmaid, I’ll give them twenty bucks. It’s all about the motivation. As if the handy isn’t motivation eno...

Mood ring says romantic; arm hair says otherwise.

Except I’ll probably find like 17 people I slept with. Well…that’s a nice round number…

I have no problem sleeping with her, I just don’t like her hair.

No world could have enough sex.

Do you want to get double pregnant?

Take your bra off. Let me see those warlocks.

There’s moments, when we’re playing Mario, when both our controllers are shaking.

I love your body wash. And your body. Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

We ordered room service, had naked eggs benedict, had a great morning. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Have an experimental night and a titillating tomorrow! Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

That weird feeling I felt in my chest before, I think I feel for her. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Oooh, that feels good. Is it weird that that feels good? Yes. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Oh, I can’t get down on my knees anymore. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

What kind of A-B-up-down combo do I have to push to see some dick around here? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

I sometimes wonder why I’m so attracted to him when statistically he’s about 3 decades too young to be my type. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

I like it. It looks like a gay bar in there. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3

Even if I don’t know you, I love you. So, sorry. You’re stuck with my love. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

I just forced her to accept my love, and now she’s ornery. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

I’m the Indiana Jones of sex toys. Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.8

If anyone’s getting laid in my bed it isn’t going to be either of us.

So, you spent the week humping.

I had a dream about you the other day. I think it was sexy or something.

She’s married, so she’s not worth talking to.

Anyone with tattoos can’t be a virgin.

What’s going on? Besides body love?