Category: Fashion & Failure

Hey, your makeup looks really good in this photo. Oh, I’m just tired. Well, I like your resting bitch face. Oh, that’s just my face.

Keep an eye out for black bondage leather.

Oh, that’s a cute little underwear supply store!

I’m not feeling the groove unless my pants are up to my nipples.

Hey, that’s a cool hat. Yeah!

Clay Matthews for Halloween this year is going as a beard.

Ladies love a bald chin. You gotta shave that.

Well, I don’t need to be a ninja warrior tonight. Sparkly or otherwise.

These sunglasses feel amazing. I’m invisible.

He looks like he should run a biker bar. Or an Amish store.

I’m imagining two women and a bedazzler. Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Between the two of you you could be shirtless in moments. Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Do not stop looking like a banana. Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Hey, nice soul patch! Yeah, I don’t have a lot of soul to patch, but we’ll see. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Nice tits. Thanks. I’m not a lesbian. Either way, thanks.

Spoiler alert: he didn’t drink his own rat tail. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

She always puts ridiculous things in her hair on celebrations in my honor. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

I just feel naked without my hat. And my father. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

I’m glad I didn’t wear suspenders tonight. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

No, I can’t leave my fiancee on her wedding-hair night. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

I mostly just want to strap something secretly to my thigh. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

You should know, though, that when I first looked at it, I thought it was a straight-on picture and that you were wearing a lumpy beret. Not that you look like ...

You look like a New Years celebration. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

I like your chains, milady. It looks like pirate gold. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

My hair is NOT grey. It’s platinum-blonde and white. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

I like when he has a mustache. I just feel better. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

I just saw a twelve-year-old wearing a Hooters shirt. Gross. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Do you want that butt necklace that Jane Austen made or whoever the f*ck? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

That beard looks like it’s removable. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Well, good luck with the sparkles. I have little girls to impress. …I’m sure. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.3

You look like a principal on vacation. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

I have a Festmaster Award button. Wow. That should like, get you into high-security areas. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.0

If your skin was plastic, that would look ideal. Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.7

My shoes are too tight on ny head, and it’s giving me podiatry problems. Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.7

It’s better to look good than to feel good. Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.8

We have quite the collection of sexy people.

Is that your Audrey Hepburn look?No, it’s my I-need-to-do-laundry look.

Do you have a sweater shaver?No, but I have a PedEgg, that might work.

The first time I met her she was dressed like Madonna.

I’m going to look like Audrey Hepburn, or a scientist.

I just saw a guy with a perm. Just sayin’. Totally made my morning.

…so, you’re young, and pretty hip…my son is dating a new lady friend and he tells me she has her collarbones pierced. What is that??

We need a side profile shot of your face.Yeah, cause that’s my favorite sideburn side.

He looks like a pirate, and it’s super cute.Why? Did he get a peg leg while he was gone?

It’s perfect timing, because I just put on pants.

Dude, this retainer is pretty cool. It’s like bling for my mouth.

Nice boots.Thanks. You look like a rock star today.Thanks.

Do you think I’ll get looks for wearing a v-neck? Like is it too dressy to work out in?

So all he had on was underwear and brown socks. Which was very sexy.

I look good in everything.

What’s that on your neck?Oh, this here? That’s my beard.

I like to wear these and think that people might think I’m a DJ. Like, look at that girl’s shoes. I wonder what she’s doing here — maybe...

Nice jacket! Looks warm.…It helps.

Do these effectively hide my thunder?

What do you think? Nipple, or no nipple?

I look like Peter Pan.

Yeah, but black is the new black, so maybe I should wear the black pants.