Category: Pets

We should get him a little humping rug. Everyone needs a humping rug.

I want a girlfriend so I can get a dog.

I love diabetes and cats!

He’s a dog. He doesn’t have to have a last name. …says the girl who wants to throw him a birthday party.

I didn’t bring my dog, so I can’t sleep in the spare bed.

Did you guys feel left out because you have boyfriends but no dogs? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

I think I’m going to make Facebook profiles for my dogs. I bet they get more friends than me. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Unless your keys are made out of beef, I’m pretty sure sending a dog after them isn’t going to help. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

I love how puppies sleep on top of each other. Oh, and speaking of teabagging, one totally has his ass covering the other’s face. Published with Blogger-d...

He learned how to roll over!! Wow, how’d you teach him that? We just kept telling him and pushing him over. That’s how I learned too! Published with...

Hey, stop doing the tassle-tail twirl. It looks like booby tassles. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

For a split second there I forgot if I brought my dog in today. I have that same issue with my pants. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

I kind of want to get your dog to lick my kid in the face. Published with Blogger-droid v1.4.8

I’d be a terrible pet owner. I’d just feed them cheese every day of their life, and they’d live for 6 months. they’d have a good life, t...

Hey. Grow some weiner curtains.

As soon as dogs start learning how to make whiskey sours, I’m getting one.

He doesn’t breathe like this at home. I would be be breathing hard too if strangers were jabbing me and sticking thermometers up my butt and stuff in my e...

My cat and I had an argument this morning.

Speaking of raising the glass…are we just going to play with the cat?

He just likes to hold his penis against your shoe.